《The Egg》[转]







Uh huh, lifes like this

《The Egg》[转]。The Egg

By: Andy Weir

You were on your way home when you died.

It was a car accident. Nothing particularly remarkable, but fatal
nonetheless. You left behind a wife and two children. It was a painless
death. The EMTs tried their best to save you, but to no avail. Your body
was so utterly shattered you were better off, trust me.

And that’s when you met me.

“What… what happened?” You asked. “Where am I?”

“You died,” I said, matter-of-factly. No point in mincing words.

“There was a… a truck and it was skidding…”

“Yup,” I said.

“I… I died?”

“Yup. But don’t feel bad about it. Everyone dies,” I said.

You looked around. There was nothingness. Just you and me. “What is this
place?” You asked. “Is this the afterlife?”

“More or less,” I said.

“Are you god?” You asked.

“Yup,” I replied. “I’m God.”

“My kids… my wife,” you said.

“What about them?”

“Will they be all right?”

“That’s what I like to see,” I said. “You just died and your main
concern is for your family. That’s good stuff right there.”

You looked at me with fascination. To you, I didn’t look like God. I
just looked like some man. Or possibly a woman. Some vague authority
figure, maybe. More of a grammar school teacher than the almighty.

“Don’t worry,” I said. “They’ll be fine. Your kids will remember you as
perfect in every way. They didn’t have time to grow contempt for you.
Your wife will cry on the outside, but will be secretly relieved. To be
fair, your marriage was falling apart. If it’s any consolation, she’ll
feel very guilty for feeling relieved.”

“Oh,” you said. “So what happens now? Do I go to heaven or hell or

“Neither,” I said. “You’ll be reincarnated.”

“Ah,” you said. “So the Hindus were right,”

“All religions are right in their own way,” I said. “Walk with me.”

You followed along as we strode through the void. “Where are we going?”

“Nowhere in particular,” I said. “It’s just nice to walk while we talk.”

“So what’s the point, then?” You asked. “When I get reborn, I’ll just be
a blank slate, right? A baby. So all my experiences and everything I did
in this life won’t matter.”

“Not so!” I said. “You have within you all the knowledge and experiences
of all your past lives. You just don’t remember them right now.”

I stopped walking and took you by the shoulders. “Your soul is more
magnificent, beautiful, and gigantic than you can possibly imagine. A
human mind can only contain a tiny fraction of what you are. It’s like
sticking your finger in a glass of water to see if it’s hot or cold. You
put a tiny part of yourself into the vessel, and when you bring it back
out, you’ve gained all the experiences it had.

“You’ve been in a human for the last 48 years, so you haven’t stretched
out yet and felt the rest of your immense consciousness. If we hung out
here for long enough, you’d start remembering everything. But there’s no
point to doing that between each life.”

“How many times have I been reincarnated, then?”

“Oh lots. Lots and lots. An in to lots of different lives.” I said.
“This time around, you’ll be a Chinese peasant girl in 540 AD.”

“Wait, what?” You stammered. “You’re sending me back in time?”

“Well, I guess technically. Time, as you know it, only exists in your
universe. Things are different where I come from.”

“Where you come from?” You said.

“Oh sure,” I explained “I come from somewhere. Somewhere else. And there
are others like me. I know you’ll want to know what it’s like there, but
honestly you wouldn’t understand.”

“Oh,” you said, a little let down. “But wait. If I get reincarnated to
other places in time, I could have interacted with myself at some

“Sure. Happens all the time. And with both lives only aware of their own
lifespan you don’t even know it’s happening.”

“So what’s the point of it all?”

“Seriously?” I asked. “Seriously? You’re asking me for the meaning of
life? Isn’t that a little stereotypical?”

“Well it’s a reasonable question,” you persisted.

I looked you in the eye. “The meaning of life, the reason I made this
whole universe, is for you to mature.”

“You mean mankind? You want us to mature?”

“No, just you. I made this whole universe for you. With each new life
you grow and mature and become a larger and greater intellect.”

“Just me? What about everyone else?”

“There is no one else,” I said. “In this universe, there’s just you and

You stared blankly at me. “But all the people on earth…”

“All you. Different incarnations of you.”

“Wait. I’m everyone!?”

“Now you’re getting it,” I said, with a congratulatory slap on the back.

“I’m every human being who ever lived?”

“Or who will ever live, yes.”

“I’m Abraham Lincoln?”

“And you’re John Wilkes Booth, too,” I added.

“I’m Hitler?” You said, appalled.

“And you’re the millions he killed.”

“I’m Jesus?”

“And you’re everyone who followed him.”

You fell silent.

“Every time you victimized someone,” I said, “you were victimizing
yourself. Every act of kindness you’ve done, you’ve done to yourself.
Every happy and sad moment ever experienced by any human was, or will
be, experienced by you.”

You thought for a long time.

www366net,“Why?” You asked me. “Why do all this?”

“Because someday, you will become like me. Because that’s what you are.
You’re one of my kind. You’re my child.”

“Whoa,” you said, incredulous. “You mean I’m a god?”

“No. Not yet. You’re a fetus. You’re still growing. Once you’ve lived
every human life throughout all time, you will have grown enough to be

“So the whole universe,” you said, “it’s just…”

“An egg.” I answered. “Now it’s time for you to move on to your next

And I sent you on your way.

Uh huh, uh huh, thats the way it is

Cause lifes like this

Uh huh, uh huh thats the way it is

whatcha yelling for?

Its all been done before

And if you could only let it be

You will see

I like you the way you are

When were drivin in your car

And youre talking to me one on one


But youve become

Somebody else round everyone else

Youre watching your back

Like you cant relax

Youre tryin to be cool

You look like a fool to me


Why you have to go and make things so complicated?


I see the way youre acting

Like youre somebody else gets me frustrated

Lifes like this

And you fall and you crawl and you break


And you take what you get

And you turn it into honesty

You promised me

Im never gonna find you fake it


You come over unannounced


Dressed up like youre someone else

Where you are and where its sad you see

Youre making me

Laugh out when you strike your pose

Take off all your preppy clothes

You know youre not fooling anyone


But youve become

Somebody else round everyone else

Youre watching your back

Like you cant relax

Youre tryin to be cool

You look like a fool to me




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